It was the middle of spring in the flat lands of West Texas. The days were beginning to get a little longer and the grass was growing a little greener day by day. It felt as though earth was resurrecting after a dark and cold winter.
But in the middle of it all, there I sat. I'd see the growth and life sprouting all around. Yet the only thing growing within me was sadness and bitterness. I was envious of the earth and its four seasons. I didn't feel like I had "seasons." I had season. I had a heart of winter. Depression.
I had somehow convinced myself that moving would help. I needed a new start. I pleaded with my husband, Jake, desperately.
Let us move! PLEASE, let us move.
My counselor continued to tell me that moving wouldn't fix it. Depression would follow me there too. But I wouldn't let it go.
Around this time, Jake received a call from a company he had been longing to work for. A company ran by a man he truly trusted and respected. They offered him a job but wanted him to commit for a year. I passive aggressively told him that was fine. "But," I added, "I want a dog."
I'm not sure why that felt like a compromise. But it felt right to my lost self. I needed something to find hope in. And now that moving was gone, a dog it is.
I immediately went to Craig's List. I scrolled through ads and ads of puppies. I finally came across a picture of a Brittany Spaniel.
"HIM," I thought out loud, "I want HIM."
We called the owners and planned to check him out the next day. On our way to their house Jake made sure we were on the same page by saying, "We're just looking. We might not get him." I nodded because I knew that was the wise and responsible response. But in my heart, I knew I wasn't leaving that house without that dog.
We knocked on the door, introduced ourselves and then were escorted to the backyard. As soon as the door shut behind us we were greeted excitedly by a beautiful, orange and white fur ball. He jumped up on each of us, not aggressively, just to give us hugs. I was smiling ear to ear as I brushed through his coat with my hand.
Jake asked the man if we could have a moment alone to talk it over. As soon as it was just the two of us, we both immediately smiled and said, "Yep, he's ours."
Summit "Ralph" Stunz was officially a part of the family.
There is so much more to mine and Summit's story. I'll write you soon about the rest. Until then, keep fighting. Keep living. Keep growing.